Soggy is the cereal of my discontent

And... back.

So, what's up with taking 12 plastic cups and making a championship tournament out of STACKING them? Seriously, that must get old by what, the second time? I mean, how many variations can you actually think of that involve stacking 12 cups more than one cup high? There's gotta be a better way to exercise you hand-eye coordination... Masturbation, maybe? How about competitive Archery? That's a pretty fun sport. And uh, it's an actual sport too. Hell, I think masturbation is more of a sport than cup stacking. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that masturbation will make it into the Olympics before cup stacking. Seriously, man... Cup stacking?

Anyways, I've pretty much spent the entire day just dicking around, and playing Age of Mythology with a good friend of mine. We realized how much we suck when the computer players, on Titan, would so incredibly easy out-Age us and smother us to death like you would do an unwanted child.
Yes, we suck that much. Still fun as hell.

Me and my friends have been doing these AOM matches from night til morning every few days, I'm sure we've all lost a couple of years worth of college thanks to it. We've been LANning it, one of my friends tried it online and came back battle-scarred. Apparently, we suck and blow compared to real players. Go fig.

Talking to Lola right now, the one that recommended I start blogging, and here's what she told me to say, word for word:

say i'm the coolest girl alive and should be made a goddess and people have to sacrifice their money and buy me a jeep

And there we go, I've used the quote button instead of actually using "", I feel lazier already. Also, although it has its moments, Mind of Mencia will never be as awesome as Chappelle's Show... That show was pure, pure genius. There's nothing quite as awesome as Charlie Murphy's stories, and of course, the Wayne Brady skit... "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"

Tom DeLonge is on Larry King. Cool. AVA ftw.

Anyways, I realize that I've had this window open ALL day and have just come back to write on in every few hours, as if you couldn't tell by the disconnected, slightly bent (read: psychotic) flow of the post.

Anyways, I'm checking out my friend's blog, a blog he had completely neglected to mention he had (some friend the bastard is), and there I find an excellent post about soggy cereal . Now, what saddened me was Lola's reply, coming to you in Technicolor Quote

I like Quaker Cinnamon Squares and I absolutely hate when my cereal is CRUNCHY! You have to let it soak in milk (preferibly if you have milk with cereal instead of cereal with milk) and let it ablandate.

I feel I must say something about this. Soggy cereal is the most horrible thing that could happen to you in the morning. Waking up to ten other guys in your bed, and you yourself stuck to the wall in dried man-spooge, most of it coming out of various orifices in your body, as you take a look around the room and notice that a lot of stuff is missing from your desk, and has made its way up your anal cavity, does not even come close to as bad a morning as soggy cereal makes. It's like you puked diarrhea in your bowl, and your emesis forms soggy scabs that you are about to re-ingest for some ungodly reason. Had man wanted cereal to be soggy, he would have just sold it already pre-soaked in milk, not dry inside a box sold by weight, not by contents. It's simple, really- there's solid food- like, cereal, there's gaseous food, like Coke, there's liquid food, like... Coke, and there's plasma-state food, like flan. Notice that there's no state of matter called 'Puked diarrhea scabs' state... And for good reason, too.

But hey, if you people like food to have the consistency of something that is forcefully expelled from your body because it rejects on account of it being harmful to it, be my guests...

Sick weirdoes.


Iguana Lola said...

I think your obsessed with me, bitch and I like it (go figure).

You're worthy of linking now.

Gravekeeper said...

Pikkon doesn't know
That Lola and me
Blog it on the net every Sunday

She tells him she's in church
But she doesn't go
Still, she's in front of her Mac, and..

Pikkon doesn't know!

Otterboy said...

Yeah, masturbation is a sport. I agree.

mangarang said...

Soggy cereal is pretty disgusting, I completely agree. But is it THIS blog worthy? If I see another blog title with the words "Soggy" or "cereal" I'm going to drive to your house and puke in your mailbox.

Gravekeeper said...

Dude, it's my blog. Seeing as this is my blog, I think I'm the one to decide what's worthy or unworthy of being discussed here. And soggy cereal (or PuDS), my friend, is a VERY important issue here.

Dave said...

Agreed. Wholeheartedly.