20061102

Ok guys, this has got to stop

There’s really something wrong with Puerto Ricans, I swear. Today is definitive proof of that, but I’ll get to that in a bit. Look, as I mentioned before, I don’t drink- that doesn’t mean I have a problem with drinking- most my friends drink, and I don’t think any less of them. Hell, every few years or so, you might even catch me sipping on a beer or something, and I certainly enjoy wine if the chance appears. The problem I have with drinking, is that most people do it to knock themselves out and lose all feeling and physical connection to this plane of existence.

There’s a bar pretty much across the street from my university. For reasons beyond me, it seems to be open by six, seven in the morning (or maybe it just doesn’t close at all). I know this, because I’ve got friends that drop by at eight a.m., staggering in alcohol-induced giddiness. I KNOW it’s alcohol-induced because I can SMELL them across the campus. These are students of the university, they’ve got class, and some have work. Who in their right mind comes to class reeking of rum?

Tell me, you, reader, being aware of how alcohol impairs you, being aware of what your limits are, being aware how intoxication changes you, how do you convince yourself that boozing up at day-break is a good thing to do? I’d like to know how the thought process that goes through the head of such a person progresses. You can’t possibly tell me that such a person doesn’t realize how obnoxious, belligerent, and unaware of their surroundings they can become when drunk. It’s incredibly annoying and rather disappointing how a person can be proud and happy about the fact that they were drunk in time for class. It speaks volumes about people.

“Dude, you’re being a wet blanket.”

“Oh c’mon, it’s just a few drinks.”

“C’mon man, that was pretty funny!”

I feel very strongly about this, but those that I confront disregard this completely. What’s so fun about being impaired and losing touch with reality? Puerto Rican culture seems to encourage reckless partying (among other things that I’ll certainly rant about in later posts). People brag about how drunk they managed to get- it’s almost like bragging about how many cartons a day you smoke. They re-tell their stories about how the drove off a cliff or woke up with the car wrapped around a tree- but they’re uninjured, so hey, nothing happened, let’s keep drinking! Does everybody really need a bad reality-check before they can step back and say, ‘Hmm, you know, this probably isn’t the best way to start the day…’ ?

In aviation, there are five attitudes which we are taught can be the downfall of any pilot… They’re very universal, actually.

Anti-authority- I tell you, ‘Fifteen bottles of rum in the morning is not good.’, to which I get a ‘who made you the drink police?’. Telling people that their drinking is stupid will usually encourage them to drink more out of spite.

Macho attitude- You’re not awesome unless your liver collapses.

Resignation- Lol, so I’m drunk… What’s done is done :D

Invulnerability- So that dude crashed because he was drunk… I *know* how to drive drunk, it won’t happen to me :D

Impulsivity- Damn… I’m so drunk out of my mind… Let’s go drink some more!

I believe this describes the Puerto Rican hard drinker perfectly.

Now, this is what convinced me that Puerto Rican society has reached rock-bottom- here I was with a friend of mine at a gas station where his mom works at. He comes at me with a ‘You’re not gonna believe this’ grin on his face. He puts in my hand the newest drink product that’s gonna come out to the market. Do you know those aluminum Capri Sun drink pouches? The ones that come with a little straw?

It’s called Gasolina. Yes, Gasolina, like that godforsaken reggaeton bullshit.

The packet says that it’s made of rum, tequila, and fruit juice. That’s right, people- it’s a fucking shot pouch. Its alcohol content is 11%, and the pouch bigger than the aforementioned Capri Sun pouches.

Am I the ONLY person that thinks this is fucking ridiculous?! It has a fucking little straw like the juice pouches! It’s called Gasolina. What. The. Fuck. It has ‘Puerto Rican ’ plastered all over. Basically, Puerto Ricans needed to make alcohol somehow MORE accessible and storable. Geez.

Sometimes, I wonder about the people that surround me.

20 comments:

Yamil said...

I Lol'd.. but seriously puertorrican society is getting worse than what it used to be. Be us "Party Animals", who sometimes get drunk on a concert knowingly that beers cost 1/100 what your liver costs to a person who needs a new one (those sh*t are pricey), chimneys walking across the whole place because this is the new cruise control for cool, whoreifying people that barely dress themselves to take class (men and women alike), and every bit of imagination in advertisement is preying on those who are yet to be part of the New Puertorrican Order... BTW I'm not a drunk, I'm not supposed to drink a sip but I've tasted practically every type of adolescent or youth drink there is, I'll most likely die younger. I can confidently tell you It's a waste of money... but people buy this crap, I bet I could put manure on a nice glass and sell it, then I'd say: "I'm rich bitch!" 'cuz people buy this crap.

Iguana Lola said...

Wow, you shouldn't come to Mayaguez then, after all. There are like 15 bars an intersection away from campus and with Medallitas a peseta everyday, you can gather that everyone's drunk my 8 pm everyday.

I really don't care if my generation of fellow Puerto Rican are a bunch of drunk bastards. The important thing is that I'm not (only gotten semi-drunk once) and that the less capable people to be professionals, the more opportunities I have to be one.

Gravekeeper said...

Like I said, bars don't bother me- although there really has to be something wrong with Happy Hour at 6am- what bothers me is people that drink uncontrollably.. I mean, what's wrong with just a couple of beers or something? Does it HAVE to be 40 gallons of alcohol every time?

Jessbait said...

As the one studying in the medical field, I feel responsible of reporting the effects alcohol has on the body and why we shouldn't over indulge in drunkeness.

First of all, cell membranes are highly permeable due to the fact that they are made of a DOUBLE layer of phospholipids which is fat. And fat absorbs alcohol until it corrodes. So once that happens alcohol can diffuse into nearly every tissue of the body, causing intoxication, vomiting, incoherentess and DEATH (yes that's right).

And where does all this alcohol go after it's done all it's damage? To the center of detoxication of the body: the liver. After a lot of incidents of excessive alcohol your liver begins to over work it self as the alcohol pierces through it's cells and disintergrates your liver. And then you'll need a liver transplant and doctor's put patients with liver disease caused by alcohol at the bottom of the list. So you'll never get a liver, and you'll eventually die of it.

I think we should stop drinking.

NY, NY said...

Drinking doesn't always equal getting drunk. You are taking to extremes. I drink, but I don't get drunk. I drink just enough to get "happy."

I agree that getting drunk is dumb and pointless. Blame the user, not the drink.

ny.ny said...

two*

Anonymous said...

stick in the mud.

Anonymous said...

This summer some friends and I went to Puerto Rico for vacation. We stayed outside of San Juan in Loiza. I have also been to Cancun, Mexico. I have to say that I think that people in the states drink more. We went out to a club in Puerto Rico and we were drinking more than anyone there. Most people were there to dance. In Mexico, they are used to drinking a beer with food or just to relax...we are not used to that kind of society where it is socially acceptible to have a beer with your lunch on break then go back to work. We cannot drink under 21. Therefore, we abuse it more. As for Gasolina...there were billboards and signs everywhere. However, it seemed that not many people drank it. We did. Yes, it is a more easily accessible way to drink alochol. However, haven't you ever seen the pre-made shooters that come in the "test tubes" and you can buy a pack of 20 or 50? If people want to drink, they will find a way. I dont think it matters that a drink is in a pouch, a test tube, a bottle, a can.....they will find a way. At least with Gasolina it is already mixed. I know plenty of people who are too lazy to mix the liquor and just drink it straight from the bottle.

noid- said...

coming soon Tequila Fruitsy.

rene said...

Eddie... get ready.. I just came out with two new Gasolina Drinks for the Puerto Rican public... Tu Madras! and Pink Martini... jeje.. In January I'll have Gasolina Mojito, and Gasolina's Dirty Rita.. (margarita) for you... to bad you don't drink..

Anonymous said...

you kno wuts wrong with puertoricans no one did nothing to you.. and besides those gasolina drinks are awsome...
u jealous prick...!!

Anonymous said...

actually Gasolina is quite good. and its a brilliant idea, they're cheap, and very tasty. have 2 and your ready to have a good time. people don't goto puerto rico because they want to go somewhere just like home just warmer and different people. it's vacation. clap clap to you that you don't drink. Why what it matter what you say about drinking, because judging by your use of words in explaining to everyone why people drink, just proves you need to stop playing counter strike, and throw on the DD. its getting old .

Anonymous said...

ok. graveyard u im honestly offended by all your comments about puertorican drinking, yeah its a big part of our culture but so is sports and puertoricans are not the only ones that drink a little too much if you look at other cultures alot of them drink just as much or even more. just cause a puertoricancame up with the idea to make amix drink that comes in a pouch n is a lot cheaper do u really think that d person that came up with that did it cause he thought people did not drink enough(yes people not only puertoricans whites, blacks, shit even hundurians all raices) no he his most lucklya business person saw a need to make drinking more fun and accesable and is know making money off it because thats what busines people do they see a demand and supply it unless your nit reallylearning shit in college cause if u were u would know about supply and demand if i remember correctly thst is thought in bussiness 101. if i offended u in anyway honestlyim not at all sorry i get very defensive when people talk shit especially about puertoricansnwere not perfect but nobody is not even you.

Anonymous said...

i just have a comment for the makers of gasolina for some reason i cant log on to your website i try to google it and again nothing.just wanted tolet u know i love all your gasolina drinks ive actually brought a couple back to d states with me and my friends love them every timei go to theisland i get a lot of calkls and text not to see if imhaving fun or if im ok but to make sure i dont forget to bring them some gasolina back, i recently had some red bull left so i figured mite ass well try it with some gasolina regular kind let me tell you you it eas awsome just a suggestion try it.

rene said...

Hi anonymous,

Regarding the Gasolina Website... I'm still working on it. I've been focused on making some new concoctions... and getting aproval to sell it in the USA and other countries.. Website on the way.. Stay tuned for Gasolina Mojito, Dirty Rita and Limoncillo... yes its a brilliant idea thank you.. Rene the Gasolina Man...

sch740 said...

Yes please bring these drinks to the states! I brought back from San Juan some Tu Madras and the original and my friends thought it was great!

Anonymous said...

Your so fucking retarded. You included all Puerto Ricans in it. I'm sorry but those drinks are good and you sit there and have shit to talk about it. You may not be a drinker but hey neither am I and guess what I'm puerto rican. Instead of being so damn ignorant think about it there are plenty of puerto ricans who drink yes BUT you never factor in the ones who don't. So you just drag our culture into the mud because of other people with drinking problems. I'm sorry your not only a dick but a racist too.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I don't see the need to bash the Puerto Rican drinking society. Just like every other culture that drinks, there's a large group of people that drink excessively and repetitively. The Gasolina epidemic is no lower than the classic American wine-in-a-box. I'm Puerto Rican born and raised and yes, I will admit that alcohol is a big cultural practice but I lived in the United States for 11 years and it's not much better over there either. It all depends on how you look at things and having been exposed to both cultures, we're pretty much on the same alcohol level.

Adriel said...

I'm a college student in the states, with many cousins also of college age on the island. When I go, we go to all the little chinchorros all night and, honestly, we do drink more here in the states.

They didn't even know of half the drinking games that most US college kids know by heart.

So this fact kind of invalidates your whole post.

But hey, I think I wouldn't drink as much too if I had such beautiful scenery (both the women and the island itself ;) ) to look at every night.

Anonymous said...

I honestly did not finish reading all of it cause is stupid and pointless. you guys waste soooooooooooooo much time on this bull shit. i NEVER...do this...but I actually happen to be puerto rican. raised in California. went to PR after 15 years and had Gasolina for the first time. is NOOOOOT that fuking seriousl. Ya'll need to chill...let people BE and live their lives and do wtf they want with their livers etc.
seriously.... do something more productive with your lives.
everything is a choice. and WHO R U TO JUDGE ANYONE OR THEIR DECISIONS. GOD??? ...DIDNT THINK SO...LOL...
SERIOUSLY?!?!?! GET THE F*CK OVER IT. LMAO...