A Buffet of Manliness

'Sup people? Gravekeeper is back, hotter than ever! Seriously. My A/C broke down. My room is now stuck perpetually in 90-95 degree temperature. It's like being stuck between Satan's balls.

Now, the other day a coworker surrendered his Motorola Phone Tools CD, much to my manager and mine's glee- the bitch costs 50 bucks, which is 50 bucks more than I was willing to spend on something that could easily be included with the phone. That means that I now posses the ability to upload incriminating pics and videos I might have taken of, say, Carlos and Andrew in a jacuzzi. I'm not saying that I have such pics, but yes, yes I do.

Anyways, I've had a pic here I've been meaning to comment on. This is the dash on a Toyota Yaris/Echo/Vitz what have you. As you can see, the gauge cluster on these cars is placed in the center.

Now, this is a pic I took at a stoplight. It is a girl in a Yaris. As you can see (not so well thank's to my phone's rather ass camera), she has chosen the center cluster as the perfect place to mount photos. I had to poll some women on what they thought of this, and to my surprise, it seems most don't miss or pay attention to all those gauges and warning lights. This is... mildly troubling to me. There's quite a bit to be said about somebody who proclaims proudly how little attention they pay to driving.

The female mind is quite an interesting subject for study. I could go to lengths on the total retardeness that I've seen on display... You see, I've always been of the mind that men and women are equally stupid and equally horny. Of course, the problem with women is that they refuse to acknowledge how idiotic they are, unlike men. We know we're simple. We revel in it. That's why we can laugh at how stoopid we look on YouTube. A woman sees herself acting stupid, and she's devastated.

Here's an example of the female mind at work. Two female friends of mine were rummaging through EmoSpace. We'll call them Albita and Andrea. Albita had gotten a new boy toy, and was checking up on this dude's ex-girlfriend's myspace. Catty 'til the end, the ex-girl had posted videos of the good-old days with Dude, ostensibly to get to Albita, I'm guessing. Albita freaked out, and was seriously reconsidering going to a concert with Dude. Then, Andrea, in what must've been an orgasmic mental eureka to her, dropped this little golden brain fart- I paraphrase:

"You know what I would do? I would go to the concert, let him see me there, and *not* talk to him!!!11!"

Up until that point, I had held both their intellects in high regard.

The statement made my mind grind to a halt. I'm not one to do things without express purpose or without logic, so why would I pay to go to an overpriced local concert to not be with somebody, when I could keep the money and not be with that person at home? You'd think that the non-presence of your corporeal being would be enough to drive the point home. The point being, of course, that the dude should be ashamed of at one point having had a good relationship with somebody else, in the past.

But, I digress.

As long as I'm unloading stuff stored in my phone, I have to post these.

It's a customer of mine, and the hilarious part is how the truck makes his already short stature seem almost prepubescent. I get a good laugh out of the fact that he can only peer into the window because he's on the sidewalk, thus standing on slightly higher ground than the Tundra. Now check this out.

I had the munchies, so I put in a dollar in the vending machine to buy some Doritos. The machine is informing me that my selection is $90.00, meaning I was 89 bucks short. I decided to take my business elsewhere.

I had to take a picture of this. This was taken shortly after his execution. Those of you that understand, will get a good laugh. Others, disregard.


Can somebody tell me what in the world this is? These are taken from two cable channels that only seem to display these monitors. As you can see, they're measuring something, and they're clearly not happy about it.

Well, now that I've unloaded, I think I'm gonna go eat some Oreos, one of the manliest substances on earth- I'll see ya guys later this week, 'cause I wanna vent about region recognition.


Biby Cletus said...

Cool blog, i just randomly surfed in, but it sure was worth my time, will be back

Deep Regards from the other side of the Moon

Biby Cletus

Aviatrix said...

I look at my gauges all the time and am frequently irritated that there are not more gauges to inform me of the exact status of the car, but people tease me for that.

To yur anonymous subject's credit, are the photos not covering only the tach on the Yaris? It's the other side of the display that has the groundspeed indicator and the caution lights, isn't it?

I mean it's a Yaris. If you put your foot down, the engine goes VRROOOOM and the car goes forward even when you're pointed uphill, you know you've revved it up, and if it goes putt putt you have low revs. Have you ever looked at the tach in a Yaris and obtained information you didn't already have?

Gravekeeper said...

Haha, you're completely right. I'm just a bit of a stickler for information and not having it gets to me- so you can see how somebody telling me "I don't look at the dash at all!" might get to me even more.

Look at it this way, I'm the kind of person that looks for every possible route to places I frequent, then I time them. I also tend to memorize every keyboard shortcut I can just so I don't have to waste precious half seconds moving that antiquated mouse around.

Yes, somehow, I still have friends.