Love is Over.

Twenty years. Twenty years is a long time. It's a long enough period of time that it has a name, like century, or millennium. It's a score, by the way.

My family has been loyal customers of the Puerto Rico Telephone company since we moved to the island. My dad worked for them for around 15 years, and we've probably used their internet service for more than ten years now.

Obviously, what goes around, comes around- these guys have our back, right?

They don't.

Allow me to elaborate- it all started in February. I noticed that my DSL signal would reset itself, and cycle this behavior repeatedly for an hour or two, then go back to normal. It would do this one day, and then be fine the next five days. A minor, if odd annoyance, I thought at first. Then, it started happening with more frequency, and during specific times, usually early night. Mind you, this modem is new, the other one had died back in late 2008.

So, I ring up customer service. They make me dance through the whole 'reset your modem, take off the filters, plug it directly to the computer' jig that they always make you do regardless of what it is you're calling them for. Finally, he asks "But, do you have internet now?"

"Yeah, like I said, it comes and goes."

"Oh, ok then. If you have internet now then problem solved, call us if you need anything." Click.


I should've sensed trouble right then and there, but despite the angry rantings liberally peppered throughout my blog, I can be a very patient and forgiving person. That little session repeats itself once or twice more. It's March by now. This time, I don't let him get any words in. "Look, I've called you thrice before and you guys always put me through the same useless procedure. The problem is not how my modem is connected to the computer or the wall, I think that's been proven emphatically."

"You're right sir, I see that you've called before. What I'm going to do is put in a report, so that our guys can check the connection on our side. We'll get back to you." Click.

Remember kids, 'We'll get back to you' is a nice way of getting people off your back when you don't feel like dealing with the problem.

I call once again, and once again they think they're gonna make me unplug my modem. "I've called many times already, I'm not doing that. The problem's on your side, and you said you'd report it."

"You're right sir, I can see that you've called us before. This problem might need a personal visit from one of our technicians." No shit, you think?

He didn't give me a specific time or day, but he took my number and said the technician would call to set up a house call. I bet you guys can see where this is headed. He didn't call, and he came in at a time when no one was home. Left a note saying we weren't there.

And you didn't call, fucker!

Anyways, it's April by now, and since I'm not home much, I'm not on the internet much either, so I usually miss most of the working week's internet downtime. Also, I'm tired of getting nowhere with these people. What really kills me is when the reset cycle happens during weekend nights, and kicks me off any online game I'm playing. It begins to worsen, and the signal deteriorates to the point where whole days go without internet, and the phone line itself is getting buzzy. By the middle of May, whe have no internet and no phone. We start calling much more frequently, and finally get a technician to come over. "The problem isn't inside your home."

BRILLIANT. Give this man a Nobel. Captain Obvious bows before your might.

"We'll have to check over at our side."

Here we go again.

He disappears as quickly as he came. We wonder if he was but a mere fancy... An ephimeral apparition from the great beyond, meant to instill false hope within our hearts. We call a couple of more times, and they assure us that they're testing our shit. It's June by now. Finally, this other technician comes over. "When I saw your case, I had to come over as quick as I could. I couldn't believe how long you guys have waited for service! Don't worry, I'll have you guys fixed up in a jiffy."

Holy shit could it be? A technician that has heard our plights?

"Seems the line that comes from the distribution pedestal is broken... The break is about twenty feet from here. I'll need to go fetch the blueprints to this area and see where the line goes through, and we might have to break some ground to find the line."

"Hey, do what you gotta do, I just want this fixed."

He leaves, and that's the last time I see him. I call once more, and talk to someone in charge. "I can't believe you guys have been waiting for so long! I'm filing an official complaint case."

Sounds offcial enough, but as expected, nothing comes from it. Nothing comes from the following calls we make, either. It's July now. My dad's been talking around with his old PRT buddies. "Oh yeah, technicians and contractors try to avoid breaking ground like they avoid a syphilis-riddled plague."

Guys, this is why immigrant workers come and take all your jobs. Just because the work you have to do sucks, doesn't mean you can leave a paying customer in the dark! Do you have to get the blueprints? Go get them! Do you need to file city permits to bring equipment to break ground? Fucking do it! It's your job- you KNOW you have to! Don't just avoid the calls in the hopes that some other guy gets stuck with the job!

THIS is the kind of shit that is making Puerto Rico destroy itself from within! Well, you guys won. You won't have to do the work. You know why? Because we called the cable company. We got cable tv, 4MB internet, and VoIP telephone, for a lower price than your telephone+1MB internet. Not only that- we went to the cable company on Saturday, and their technician came in SUNDAY MORNING to set us up! SUNDAY MORNING!! Puerto Rico Telephone technicians (more commonly known as Turds) only work Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm!

Puerto Rico Telephone has failed in the grandest of scales. Fuck you guys, fuck you guys to hell. Go eat a baby dick. You guys are lower than PuDS. From now on, I'll lead a Holy Crusade in the name of informing everyone I meet how much you guys fail at everything. Even if I don't do much, as long as I can convince at least one person to switch, I'll be happy. I hope the economy takes you guys out, because you truly deserve the worst this world has to offer.

Thank you cable technician guy, for hooking me up on such short notice, and for showing me the light of the internet once more.

1 comment:

Q-rious![Shao] said...

Amen to that my friend!